Saturday, April 3, 2010

A Very Important Question

So this weekend is Wondercon, a gathering place for the people that do cool stuff. A place of magic and... I have no idea... Just like any of the other "con's" like ComiCon or Dragon*Con. What I do know is that Trish from Adult Swim Central will be there to check out, among other things, the Radical Axis of Evil people and their stuff. Of particular significance to me, and the hundreds of millions of fans of 12 Oz. Mouse, is that Matt Maiellaro, the creator of the show, will be there. I have asked Trish to ask a very important question, one that I feel only Mr. Maiellaro has the answer to. When I close my eyes this how I see this play out:

Trish (abruptly running into the room and looking nervously over her shoulder as if she is trying to elude security: In 12 Oz. Mouse, in the second scene of Episode 2 - "Signals", when the room floods with water, what did Shark say to Fitz?

Todd Redner: Matt, you don't have to answer that. How did she get in here... Security!

Matt Maiellaro: I'll answer the question! You want answers?

Trish: I think the fans are entitled.

Security Guard: There she is! GRAB HER!

Matt Maiellaro: YOU WANT ANSWERS?

Trish (as security is dragging her out): I WANT THE TRUTH!

Matt Maiellaro: YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!
(Dramatic pause... Everyone falls silent... All eyes on Matt... Security releases Trish...)
Woman, we live in a world that has cartoons, and those cartoons have to be drawn by men with beer. Whose gonna do it? You? You, Bobo? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for Skillet, and you curse the Rectangular Business Man. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what Eye knows. That Skillet's death, while tragic, probably saved lives. And 12 Oz. Mouse, while grotesque and incomprehensible to some people, saves lives. You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about on internet forums and chat rooms, you want me on that wall, you need me on that wall. We use words like gunkenschlanger, fortmeiser, reticulous. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent creating something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to people who rise and sleep under the blanket of the very cartoons that I provide, and then question the things they say when they are under water. I would rather you just laughed, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up twelve pack, and make your own cartoons. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think the fans are entitled to.